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If you are a couple, you've most likely had an argument. Big or small, it can ruin your day and, even worse, your relationship. Dr. Sharon Morris May says, "It's not how similar you are or even your level of conflict that determines your marital success but how you deal with your emotions, vulnerabilities, and dragons when you argue."
Dr. Sharon views conflict through the lens of the attachment theory, helping us understand: why we argue, how we argue, and how to unravel our arguments. She helps us identify what's really going on in our brains and body when we argue, the cycles we get stuck in, the emotions fueling the cycles, and then helps us to argue in more considerate and connecting ways. She also offers six practical principles that help turn arguments into conversations:
- Establish a Safe Haven
- Comfort Dragons
- Get Inside Emotions
- Learn How to Complain
- Learn How to Apologize
- Bookend it with Good Times
Learning how to argue so your spouse will listen will change your marriage and change your life!
- Sales Rank: #145616 in Books
- Brand: Morris May, Sharon
- Published on: 2007-09-02
- Released on: 2007-09-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .63" w x 5.55" l, .66 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
About the Author
Sharon Morris May, Ph.D. is the originator of the highly acclaimed Haven of Safety Marriage Relationship Intensives and Conferences at the Hart Institute in Pasadena, California. With a doctorate in marriage and family therapy from Fuller Graduate School of Psychology, Dr. Sharon is an internationally known expert in emotionally focused therapy. Author of Safe Haven Marriage, as well as numerous articles and chapters in books on relationships, she is the contributing editor for Marriage and Family: A Christian Journal. Dr. Sharon and her husband, Mike, live in Southern California surrounded by their four sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Extremely Helpful for Couples
By Mark W. Baker
I am a psychologist and marriage therapist and I wish everyone who is in an intimate relatiionship would read this book. Dr. May has an excellent grasp of how to help couples get unstuck and create a secure attachment. She has an expert knowledge of Emotionally Focused Marital Therapy (EFT) and can apply it in easy to understand ways. Congratulations Dr. May! Job well done.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
A marriage saver
By Lynn Stag
This book was extremely helpful in allowing my spouse and I to look internally and know that a lot of issues are due to past experiences and are not actually about what is happening here and now. I learned it is not about changing your spouse, it's about understanding yourself.
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent how to book for couples!
By Joy Freed
I loved this book! It helped me to see that I can have arguments that are constructive and purposeful and not feel like a casualty. I am a Life Coach and I will definitely be recommending this book to my clients. Way to go Dr. May keep up the good work!
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